Food Tier List: Breakfast Edition

 Well, well, well, if it isn't time for a food tier list. It is yo girl Emilia and I will be ranking my favorite (and least favorite) breakfast foods. Here's how it works: I went onto a tier list making website and included photos of the food. I have 5 categories, which increase in favoritism as you go up. I included the picture here and my argument for each item. 

wow do you like what I did here?

There are even some additions in the explanation below!

Absolute Dumpster Fire:

-Rotten Banana: I love bananas, but this picture that they included was awful. I refuse, repeat, REFUSE, to eat a banana if it looks like the Black Plague is causing it to decay. I explain my perfect banana down below, but I think that out of all the different "stages" of bananas that people eat, brown and mushy is the worst. (BUT! They are the perfect bananas to use for banana bread, so... that's definitely a plus)

-Orange Juice: *sigh* I don't like orange juice. I don't know what it is: the taste? the pulp? the smell? But I gag every time I drink it. My favorite juice ever since I was a kid is cranberry juice. My dad will get these huge jugs from Costco and make them half juice/half water because I'll admit, straight cranberry juice is a bit much. Apple Juice is alright, I think I just don't like juices to be super sweet, you know? The strange thing is that I love oranges and tangerines, so me hating orange juice doesn't really make sense. 

-Shiny, boring Bagel: If you eat a smooth bagel that has no toppings and then proceed to eat it with cream cheese... who hurt you? There are so many options out there and I just want to know if you okay. 

-Scoopy Eggs: Throughout this tier list, I will be talking about the different ways you can eat your eggs, and I will touch on why one way is better than the other. The bottom and dumpster fire we are starting with are having boiled eggs sitting in this egg seat and then you proceed to hit it with a spoon and peel off the shell. First off, why so much effort? And the possibility of eating eggshell makes me uncomfortable. The next part, wow. YOU SCOOP YOUR EGG LIKE IT IS SOME JELLO OR PUDDING! No. Not in my breakfast meal. Thank you and goodnight.

Not Interested:

-Pancakes: Pancakes are too doughy that when I eat it I just feel sad. If someone makes me pancakes, I will eat it, but do know that I am doing it from the goodness of my heart. It's like that feeling of when you take too big of a bite from a sandwich or burrito and that lump just travels down into your chest and you think that you are going to have heartburn because it was just too much. o_O Woah. That is what I feel like when I eat pancakes. 

-Oatmeal: Oatmeal is healthy, yes, but it is so stubborn in the sense that every single batch is different. Some have mastered the craft of making every single bowl of oatmeal as perfect as they like, alas I have not. I will admit that my grandmother made really good oatmeal when I visited her and she had this brown sugar that wasn't super granulated and kinda had a little bit of salt, which gave it a really good flavor. 

-Salmon on my food: I love salmon, it gives you such good nutrients and there are many ways to season and pair it with vegetables. But cold salmon? For breakfast? No. I prefer having salmon warm and cooked for dinner, not on my toast. My mom is one of those people who love eating herring and salmon sometimes for breakfast and my dad, siblings, and I look at her with such confusion. 

-English Egg-McMuffin: I don't want to eat an egg that is shaped into a like a hamburger patty. Gotta admit that Sausage Biscuits are my go-to when I am forced to eat at McDonald's. 

-Omelets: Another egg possibility. My only question with this one is why do you use eggs to use it like a tortilla? The floppiness of an omelet is also unappealing to me. The only COOL thing that I will admit about omelets is that they are cool to watch someone else cook. Like if someone was making it in a restaurant I'm like Woah! That was a pretty cool trick dude. Otherwise, not interested. 

Once In Awhile:

-Pain Au Chocolat: Ah, a great French delight. The question is, where is it from? Is it a frozen pain au chocolate from Trader Joes that you just popped into the oven or is it from a bakery? Both are actually amazing, but the thing with these delicacies is that they are very fragile and tend to make a mess. Plus, I am not necessarily going to have a chocolate dessert every morning for breakfast, so that is why it is reserved for coffee time or for a fun breakfast. 

-Bacon: You know what? Bacon is eh. Like I don't want it on my salad, but if it is included for breakfast I'll eat it because I like the CRONCH. Other than that, I don't wake up in the morning being like mmmm bacon, I am not like one of those dogs in those dog treat commercials. 

-Muffins: Muffins are so good, they would honestly be in the delicious with flaws tier except for the fact that 1) it depends on what kind of flavor muffin it is (Banana Muffin? God Tier) 2) messy messy! Crumbs everywhere and I need a napkin to clean off my buttery hands afterward. 

-Waffles: See waffles are similar to pancakes in the sense that it is A LOT of dough that just makes me feel uncomfortable when I eat it sometimes. BUT, they taste better than pancakes. I like how waffles can hold and soak up maple syrup more than pancakes, and honestly? I love Eggo waffles. Eggo Waffles with peanut butter is my go-to 6 am swim practice meal. 

-Cinnamon Buns: I think this one is only because of its smell honestly. When you are in an airport and you pass a CINNABON I really really want a cinnamon bun. I just think they smell amazing. 

-English Muffins: These are good and I love them, but they are so hard to put in a toaster and they are so tiny. I would like to request one that is the size of a normal slice of bread, thank you and goodnight. 

Delicious With Flaws:

-Banana: The perfect stage of a banana is when it is that bright yellow with not a lot of spots. It isn't mushy when you unwrap it, and it tastes sweet. Bananas are one of my favorite fruits and I wish that they could get more love. What is one of the main components of so many smoothies? Bananas. Banana Bread? Bananas. Incredible. 

-Coffee: Ah coffee. Coffee is delicious when you make the perfect cup and it is the most amazing thing in the morning. Does it make my insides angry afterward and give me annoying headaches sometimes? Yes, but that is the flaws that I am talking about here. A good cup of coffee is not guaranteed every time, but when you have one, it is delicious. 

-Yogurt with Granola: Granola is delicious, and I actually really enjoy making my own granola. The only flaw I have to say is yogurt. Greek Yogurt has a weird taste that I do not vibe with and I have yet to find a vanilla yogurt that is not too sweet. I would love to hear your recommendations because I honestly miss having this for breakfast. 

-Hashbrowns: Hashbrowns are delicious, but just the idea of having them for breakfast all the time is a little concerning for my heart. I am not a big fan of fried food for breakfast, I prefer fresh stuff and grains. 

-Croissant: I LOVE croissants. The warm, fluffy, buttery taste of a croissant makes me so happy. But similar to a pain au chocolat, they are pretty messy. So that is why I put them in the "Delicious With Flaw" Tier. 

God Tier:

-Shipley's Glazed Donuts: all of my texas people know what I'm talking about. A lot of people praise Krispy Kreme for having the best donuts when in reality, the Shipley's glazed donut is god tier. Would I eat a box of donuts? If I was definitely in my emotions..maybe, but I honestly get so excited and I feel so happy when I eat their donuts. The fluffiness, the perfect amount of glaze, *chef kiss* 

-Cereal: Even though I am lactose intolerant and cereal makes my stomach angry, cereal is the perfect any time meal. Woke up too late and need a quick breakfast? Cereal. Need an afternoon snack? Cereal. Worked for too long and missed dinner? Cereal. Granted, if you are eating cereal three times a day, I am concerned for you, but the variety of options that you have at the grocery store is amazing. My favorite sugary cereal is Cinnamon Toast Crunch and my favorite normal cereal would have to be Honey Bunches of Oats or Cheerios. 

-Bagels with toppings: Bagels are my favorite food, which is weird to say I know, but I have such happy memories with them. Growing up, I remember my dad always going to the store to go get us sesame bagels for breakfast. I also remember going grocery shopping with my mom and she would buy bagels, we would just eat the sesame and poppy seed bagels on the way home, giggling. Bagels are good too because I like eating them fresh and when they are toasted. They are perfect for making something for breakfast, or even preparing them as sandwiches for later in the day. 

-Granola Bars: I wouldn't count this as a "breakfast" meal, but hey you can't go wrong with a good granola bar. The best granola bars I think are those Fiber One bars, I haven't had one in a while, but I feel excited when just thinking about it. 

-Breakfast Burritos: Alright, I am going to be honest, when making this tier list I think I was really hungry for a burrito. But now as I write these explanations, I am thinking that this one should be moved down. (*gasp* how scandalous). Breakfast burritos are good, but they aren't god tier. I don't really want to eat them all of the time, but they are delicious on road trips. Oooo especially sausage breakfast burritos? Yum. Moving this one down to Delicious With Flaws.

-Scrambled Eggs: Scrambled Eggs are my favorite form of eggs. Here is why: it is the perfect combo of yolk+egg white, they have a texture that is the best out of all egg combos (all others are weirdly gooey), adding spices to this is *Italian hand chef kiss*, and because you can put scrambled eggs into/onto so many things. You can put scrambled eggs in a breakfast burrito, use it to finish up some toast, and you even scramble eggs to make fried rice! So when I make my eggs, I put Vegeta on it, which is this Meditteraian mixed spices/vegetables kinda thing that my family puts in everything. DELICIOUS. 

So that is my Breakfast Tier Food List! Do you agree with my choices? Do you completely disagree and think orange juice is superior? Let me know on my Instagram @yogirlemilia or comment down below! I hope you all have a wonderful day and had fun reading this!

love,

yo girl emilia