My internal skirmish with the languages I know

Languages are an incredible skill that some view as a complex puzzle, or they are easy to pick up, like hobbies or flowers. I wanted to write a blog post of some reflections in regards to the languages I know and visiting native countries within this past year, and how those two languages seem to have an internal battle in my head. 

Earlier this March of 2022, I went to Costa Rica for Spring Break and I got to speak and interact with the local community in Spanish. This activated an inactive part of the language side of my brain that has since been overlapped and taken up with my family's native language, Polish. I took three years of Spanish in high school, and at my best, I was able to write essays about water pollution and issues from memory in my class. Yet while on this trip, I genuinely had a tough time with translating and trying to switch to Spanish. It is an interesting thing to reflect on because the way I learned both languages are very different. As a preface, I am not fluent in either language but I would say I know a decent amount in both. I learned Spanish formally in school, detailed on grammar, vocabulary, and how to read and write in the language. I have learned Polish informally by word of mouth from native speakers, immersing myself in the language whenever I visit Poland and listening to conversations. They are practically opposite in their strengths, which is why I had such a tough time trying to speak in Spanish because I automatically thought and responded in Polish. 

I stopped learning Spanish formally about 2-3 years ago, and my Polish began to take charge of the dominance in the "second language" part of my brain. Last year, I had my grandparents stay with my family as they were in the process of moving back to Poland and I eventually visited them later that year in July 2021. In the process of preparing for that trip, I tried speaking more Polish around the house with my mom. She is fluent in Polish, Spanish, and English (native language Polish), and she thought it was hilarious that I spoke an Sp-polish mixture to her. This was mostly in part to my limited knowledge of vocabulary in Polish, and knowing more words in Spanish. 

When in Poland, I pick up a lot more vocabulary and grammar through conversations with native speakers and just spend a large amount of time there, a pattern that typically occurs when I visit. 

Fun fact: this is my laptop's wallpaper

In contrast to the week I spent in Costa Rica, I was a jumbled mess in the beginning. I went to a restaurant and ordered the meal part in Spanish but then when the waitress asked what I wanted to drink, I subconsciously responded with water in polish. Some of my friends that I went on the trip poked fun at me for it. With the help of some of my friends, we reviewed vocabulary and attempted to have conversations with the locals. 

On our last full day in Costa Rica, my group taught at a local school and played with the kids of the local community where we were staying. This day revealed something that was in common for both my Spanish and my Polish: I am really good at talking to kids in their native languages. 

Let me explain, when talking to native speakers, adults tend to speak faster and have a more intellectual (more complex) choice of words that can be harder to follow. Kids speak slower and have a more simple vocabulary. When I was in Costa Rica at the school, I was able to speak pretty well to the kids and provide instruction with the activities we were doing. I had some of my friends come up to me later and were like, "I had no idea your Spanish is so good." Granted, I think my Spanish was starting to warm up after being there for a week, similar to how my Polish warms up after a while when visiting. 

This event is similar to when I was in Poland last summer and I was chatting with one of my 3-year-old cousins for hours one night. I joked afterward that my grammar and vocabulary are the equivalency of a 3-year-old. We talked about colors, food, and what we liked and disliked. Words that I have already heard and known, not diving into a new topic. 

Kids also don't need much to keep a conversation going. If you act excited and try to make them laugh, they will keep wanting to talk to you and hang out with you, no matter if it is in Spanish or Polish. 

I spoke to my mom about these reflections, she got her Bachelor's degree in Spanish and took lots of linguistics classes in college. She found it really interesting and she told me about an article that she read about how when people speak two or more languages, their second language tends to be more "muted" in emotions. You spend time in your head choosing the words you want to translate, meeting that saying of "Think before you speak". My mom reflected on this with herself and said she always thought that English was her language of reason, meaning she doesn't entwine emotions so much when speaking/thinking in English. 

In the end, Costa Rica allowed me to reflect on my status in Spanish and Polish. Reflect on how different they are technique-wise, how different my strengths are in each language, and how much I truly do not know. I am glad I had the opportunity to come to these realizations and share them with other people such as my mom and my friends. Moving forward, I want to improve my speaking in Spanish, as that was something not really touched on in school, and I want to learn how to read and write in Polish. Languages are fun in my eyes and I view grammar as a puzzle when trying to conjugate verbs and figure out the format. The hard part at least is trying to find a good learning format. Duolingo is not the greatest and there aren't any real Polish classes or tutors in the South because there are more Polish people in the North. 

If you have any personal reflections or thoughts, I would love to hear them! I love talking about languages and cultures with people. Thank you so much for reading, I really appreciate it! I hope you all have a wonderful April. <3 

love, 

yo girl emilia

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